Two sins stand above all others, equal in their offence.
I. To Discard the Crust
The Crust is the foundation, the vessel, the very body of the pizza itself. To leave it uneaten, to cast it aside like an afterthought, is to deny the essence of the faith. Those who cannot finish their crust may offer it to another — but never to the bin.
II. To Mistreat One’s Neighbour
The love of pizza is the love of community. To act with cruelty, selfishness, or greed is to reject the teachings of Cheesus Crust. One cannot hoard pizza and call themselves faithful.
On Forgiveness
Should you eat the last slice without asking, an apology is required. True forgiveness of all sins is granted only after punching a Nazi.